Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Stop Me If You’ve Already Seen This Movie

Holy cow. Er, I mean pig :
The World Health Organisation (WHO) is to investigate claims that the swine flu currently infecting the world was the result of genetic experiments by scientists which then leaked from a laboratory.

The extraordinary claims were made by 75-year-old Australian researcher Adrian Gibbs, who was part of the team behind development of the Tamiflu drug. Gibbs contends the deadly H1N1 strain may have been accidentally born in eggs scientists use to grow viruses and in vaccine research.

Okay, EVERYBODY PANIC!!!! The latest pandemic was released from the lab where scientists were researching viruses and vaccines? Somebody call Michael Crichton! And, um, Steven Spielberg!

Of course, it’s all just a theory. Like the one about how swine flu was really a bioweapon:

The UN scientist is convinced that the swine flu virus, A-H1N1, and Ebola and HIV viruses were in fact manufactured biological weapons.

As proof, they state that the usual process of transmission is that the virus is transmitted from a pig to a human, which is not the case in this outbreak because no case of a pig being infected with the A-H1N1 virus has been registered. Furthermore, the A-H1N1 virus partly contains American pig genes, partly human and bird flu strains and the virus of the Euro-Asian swine flu.


Meanwhile, south of the border Mexicans have their own made-for-prime-time swine flu conspiracy:

The main example cited is that while Mexicans were panicked into staying at home, the government quietly introduced two new laws.

The rumour is that one was a law that allows the authorities to check people’s internet traffic and emails and the other was a law banning drugs. Another piece of ‘evidence’ is the fact that US President Obama visited Mexican President Felipe Calderon just before the outbreak occurred. What the two leaders are supposed to have concocted together in secret is a mystery.
What???! The American and Mexican presidents conspired to use fear of a deadly pandemic to manipulate the citizenry and rob them of their civil liberties?

Hey, I thought that’s what wars were for! Well, EVERYBODY PANIC anyway.

Dang. Who can we torture to get to the bottom of this?