Saturday, February 7, 2009

Looking For Jesus In All The Wrong Places

This stuff makes me nuts:
James Bauman Jr., who was getting an oil change, described it as "Christ in a Jedi outfit," then as a "Persian king."

He then said there was probably significance in the stain, just as there is in Barack Obama being president and Israel's conflict with Hamas.

"I believe the Rapture is just around the corner," he said.

I missed that part of the Bible where it says when Jesus returns it will be as a stain on someone’s office door. You folks see Jesus here? Looks to me like the junior assistant office manager trainee spilled a cup of coffee one morning.

I'm not going to question someone's religious beliefs but when you start prescribing great religious significance to something as silly as a stain on a door, I think you're headed off the deep end.

Remember the Jesus floor tile lady?

Antonia Baker saw the image in the floor of her Lakes home for the first time three years ago during the Christmas season while she was recovering from surgery for an eye injury.

I think “recovering from surgery” and “eye injury” are the operative words here. Here's the money quote:

"My brother said, 'The reason that your eye popped (referring to her eye injury) is that you're walking on Jesus all the time.'

But I don't see Jesus in that floor tile, or in this tree in Florida. Or in this tree in Milwaukee.

Or in this sink bowl.

Do you?

Lady, you’ve just got a really ugly sink, and no amount of wishing it were otherwise will change that fact.