Thursday, August 23, 2007

Why Don’t We All Wear Burkas & Be Done With It

Under Atlanta's proposed “indecency” legislation, a peek of bra strap or thong could get you fined:
Exposed boxer shorts and thongs would be illegal in any public place in Atlanta if the City Council approves a proposed amendment to the city's indecency laws.

The target is young men who wear their pants low off their hips to show off the two pairs of boxers they wear beneath their saggy pants, said Atlanta Councilman C.T. Martin, a college recruitment consultant who sponsored the ordinance. Saggy pants are an "epidemic" that are becoming a "major concern" in cities and states around the country, the ordinance reads.

Under the proposed ordinance, women also couldn't reveal the strap of a thong beneath their pants. Nor could they wear jogging bras in public or show off even a wisp of a bra strap, said Debbie Seagraves, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia.

The proposed ordinance states that "the indecent exposure of his or her undergarments" would be unlawful in a public place. It would go in the same portion of the city code that outlaws sex in public and the exposure or fondling of genitals and the breast of a woman. Martin said the penalty would be a fine in an amount to be determined.

Personally, I’ve always wanted to outlaw black socks and sandals in downtown Nashville. It just sends the wrong message to our children. Kids should look up to their parents, not be shamed and humiliated. How do you ever expect to talk to your kids about abstinence and saying no to drugs if you walk around looking like the biggest nerd on the planet? You've clearly lost all credibility because let's face it, no one in black socks and sandals ever got laid or took a bong hit for Jesus.

Seriously, nothing pisses me off more than some old fuddy duddy who thinks it’s his business to police people’s clothing choices. I’m old enough to remember when “hot pants” and tube tops were favorite targets of our morality police. I’m pretty sure archeologists have uncovered evidence of a politician in ancient Greece who tried to outlaw revealing togas.

Get over it, people. Fashions change. Try to focus on what’s important, okay?

[UPDATE]: As if to prove my point about black socks and sandals, President Bush was snapped in this atrocious ensemble today. Note: the socks actually have the presidential seal on them. That's a swag fetish, alright.