Friday, November 14, 2008

The Stupid Vortex

Yesterday I got behind a Cadillac Escalade with a McCain-Palin sticker and one of those “Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less” bumper stickers. The Cadillac Escalade gets 12/19 mpg.

Today I got behind a BMW X5 with a “Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less” bumper sticker. The BMW X5 gets 15/21 mpg.

You people are both assholes. Yes, you know who you are. You’re the eeedjuts who bought Newt Gingrich’s bullshit suckup to the bloated oil industry. Aaron Tippin is the asshole who wrote the theme song. All three of you make me laugh.

When I see those bumper stickers and hear that song, all I can think is: you folks are morons. Listen, I don’t feel sorry for anyone who can’t afford to fill up their Cadillac Escalade. Don’t drive it, then. Get a clue.

Here’s another clue: this week I filled up at $2.02/gal. On Sept. 29 I purchased gasoline for $3.89. So gas prices have dropped $1.90 in eight weeks. Did we drill here, drill now in the past eight weeks? No we did not. And yet, we are paying less.

Wow. Imagine that.

Why? Because demand fell.

Here’s another clue: with the price of oil dropping like a rock, oil companies will not “drill here, drill now” now matter how many bumper stickers you plaster on your SUV. Why? Because the oil that is left in America is too expensive to pull out of the ground (or ocean) at $56/barrel.

And then of course we have the greatest clue of all: drilling here, drilling now does not mean you will pay less, because oil is a global commodity traded on the global market. We do not have a nationalized oil industry in this country, which means ExxonMobil, Chevron and everyone else who drills here is free to sell it wherever they like. Chances are that will be China.

Suck it up, assholes.

Newt Gingrich knows this. He’s not a stupid man. And yet, he will push this fraudulent campaign on uninformed Americans who think drilling “our” oil makes sense, because they think it’s like making widgets or something.

And now we have the latest news most Americans won’t read from OPEC:
Nov. 14 (Bloomberg) -- OPEC, supplier of more than 40 percent of the world's oil, will probably announce plans to lower supply for the third time in as many months to prevent prices plunging toward $50 a barrel, a Bloomberg survey showed.

Hilarious! So, no matter how much we drill here, now, whenever, wherever, it won’t impact the price at all because OPEC, which controls 40% of the global oil supply, will cut production to keep prices high.

This stuff isn’t rocket science, but it does require you to pay a little bit of attention, people. And that doesn’t mean watching only Fox News: it means consuming a wide variety of news from a variety of places.

I have no patience for teh stooopid.