Go Ahead. Make Someone's Christmas. I Dare Ya.

It’s that time of year when I get to tell y’all about one of my absolute favorite non-profits, the Modest Needs Foundation. This is such a fantastic organization because it allows you to help people in need right in your own city.

Here's how it works: you make a donation to Modest Needs and your donation is turned into points. You can then browse through a list of hundreds of applications for assistance, and assign points however you wish. Applicants are people who may need help with school tuition, have fallen behind on their rent, can’t pay a utility bill, or have an unexpected car repair or medical bill -- it’s like a clearinghouse of tip jars.

I hate to say it’s fun, because some of these applicants’ stories will break your heart. But it’s like you’re playing Santa Claus, and nothing feels better than that, right?

No dollar amount is too small, either. If you only have $10 but you want to help someone, that could be the final 10 points an applicant needs to buy eyeglasses for their child.

All of the applicants are thoroughly vetted by the Modest Needs staff, so you can be assured you aren’t being scammed. Non-profit groups are also among the applicants, if you’d like to help a group with a particular need -- say, the Rottweiler rescue organization seeking funds to neuter seven animals rescued from a puppy mill.

Modest Needs also has an excellent blog that will tug your heartstrings.

‘Tis the season to give, and so many people are in need this year. It feels good to help a family afford new tires for their car, or help a single mom catch up on her rent. Browsing through the applications is a real window on the struggles ordinary folks are facing these days.

By the same token, if you know someone in need, you might put them in touch with Modest Needs. Asking for help can be hard, but there are plenty of folks out there eager to give it. Applicants are anonymous -- (as are the donors, if they wish).

Nashville Airport Flash Mob

Apparently these "spontaneous" sing/dance-a-longs are all the rage with you kids. Here's one which happened at the Nashville International Airport earlier today:

Christmas In Kentucky

The bookend to last year's Thanksgiving in Kentucky. Because nothing celebrates the birth of the Prince of Peace like a rifle and a bottle of bourbon.

Ya gotta love this family.

Christmas Music

I’ve always loved Selah and in particular Nicole Smith’s smoky-soul vocals. Here’s “Light Of The Stable” for your Christmas listening pleasure. Ignore the cheesy Trinity Broadcasting logo and no, that’s not Joe The Plumber. Merry Christmas one and all.

Love, Peace & Dolphins

Southern Beale

War On Black Friday

I simply do not understand the media’s fascination with the whole "Black Friday” storyline. Local TV stations even reported on how many “Black Friday” ads were stuffed inside The Tennessean. To me that just means I have to throw more of the paper in the recycling bin before bringing it inside.

I cannot fathom why anyone would want to head to a shopping mall on the one day of the year you are absolutely assured of having a horrible time finding a parking space, getting into stores and restaurants, and basically enjoying the shopping experience.

I just don’t get the whole “shopping maul” mentality that surrounds these holidays. Why would you subject yourself to getting trampled at the Toys R Us? Who are these people who wait in line 20-something hours at the Best Buy?

At the Best Buy, Hal Whiting from Bolton was the first person in line. Whiting claimed his spot early, getting in line at 10:15 a.m. Thanksgiving morning.

Though Whiting has never waited in line on Black Friday before, he said the deals were too good this year to pass up and believes his early arrival could save $800 dollars from this year's Black Friday deals.

Dude, that’s just crazy. Did you even get to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family? Pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie? Experience a little community, a little family, a little humanity? Or did you squander the entire point of Thanksgiving to save $800 on stuff?

We’ve been “shopping” for charitable donations in our family over the past few years. It’s a lot more fun and a lot more rewarding and a lot less hassle. I already have too many sweaters that don’t fit, household stuff I don’t need, gift cards I forget to use. At our advanced age, we’d rather help someone else at Christmas.

One of my favorite charities is the Modest Needs Foundation. You donate money to create “points” and then search their data base of “needs” to allocate your points. Many of the applicants are people in your own community: a family who lost a job and can’t pay the rent, someone who lost a house in a fire, even a non-profit wanting to develop a website. The needs are vetted by the organization’s Client Advocacy Specialists, ensuring it isn’t a scam, and they have a great data base you can search to find those needing help by locality, by cause, or by type of applicant (individual, social worker or non-profit).

There are plenty of other awesome organizations out there offering “gift giving” via charitable donations. I hope everyone considers giving a gift that matters this year. There are a lot of people who need help in this economy. Maybe instead of trampling each other to death at the Toys R Us we should consider a new kind of giving this holiday.

My list of favorite charitable giving sites:

• Modest Needs Foundation

• Heifer Foundation

• Seva Foundation

• World Wildlife Fund Adoptions

Bad Christmas Gifts

One Christmas, back in the dinosaur age, when Southern Beale was just a baby blogger waiting for Al Gore to invent the internet, my grandmother gave our family the strangest gift. With absolutely no irony whatsoever, she presented us with an electric inside the shell egg scrambler.

It was the kind of completely useless thing advertised on late night TV back before the days of infomercials. Back then everything was “brought to you by Ronco” and came with a free ginsu knife!

We thought it was hilarious. It certainly beat the time my grandmother gave everyone in the family neon-colored fuzzy bathrobes--without the belts, which she said she was going to sew together to turn into a rug. My grandmother was an eccentric woman, to say the least, and not given to home craft projects of this type, so it was no surprise that after she died several years later we found those belts shoved in the back of her closet. Needless to say, the robes had been consigned to a Goodwill bin years earlier.

Anyway, I was reminded of this when I saw a TV advertisement for The Snuggie, the “blanket with sleeves.” Mr. Beale and I just cracked up when we saw this ad. Mr. Beale couldn’t believe anyone would wear one of these things out in public. If you’re going to a sporting event and it’s cold outside, why not just wear a coat?

I think the burgundy-colored ones make the wearers look like priests in a strange cult. And notice, these things have no belts! My grandmother would be proud.

I’m trying to imagine who this item appeals to. I’m guessing the very elderly or someone in a wheelchair--anyone for whom standing up to put a robe or sweater on the "proper" way is a challenge.

One of the things that amuses me about the holiday season is the opportunity to see this collision of American ingenuity and consumerism. Seriously, who thought Chia Pets would ever take off? And yet they are a holiday staple.

So to the inventor of the Snuggie, the Clapper, the ThighMaster, the PerfectPatty and all of the other gizmos and gadgets that are hawked on late night TV during the holidays, my hat's off to you. It takes real talent to come up with this crazy stuff and convince us we absolutely, positively cannot live without it.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, Tannenbaum!

[UPDATE]:

Impeachment ornament won't be displayed after all. No surprise there.

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They really are just going through the motions at the White House these days, aren’t they?

First there was the Christmas-themed Hannukah card, and now we have an impeachment-themed ornament on the White House Christmas tree:

The nine-inch ball is covered with swirly red and white stripes -- and, in tiny glued-on text, salutes the Democratic congressman's support for a resolution to impeach President Bush. (Also showcased: Washington state's 1919 labor strike, its suffrage movement and the violent anti-World Trade Organization riots of 1999.) Lawrence sent it off to D.C. in September and was very surprised it was accepted for the tree -- and that she was invited to this afternoon's White House reception for the artists, which she flew to D.C. to attend.

"Apparently, they didn't read it -- or Laura Bush is more progressive than I believed," Lawrence told us.

Maybe it’s the latter. I always picked up a slightly passive-aggressive bent to the First Lady. Maybe she’s trying to tell her husband something.

(h/t, Eschaton commenter Hesiod)

12 Days Of Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone! Brought to you by the Indiana University Men's A Cappella Group:

Deck The Halls

Or in this case, deck the pets. Yes, it’s that time of year, the season our family pets dread. When elf costumes and Santa hats make their appearance for the obligatory annual photo. As you can see, Cleo (left) and Zelda are not amused.

No Christmas in the Beale household is complete without the appearance of Animal Cruelty Santa. AC Santa was a wedding gift, one of those things we got from someone who doesn’t know us very well (and clearly didn’t know we had requested donations to charity in lieu of wedding gifts anyway).

I’m sure it was a very expensive gift, and it was certainly thoughtful. But we aren’t doll people, definitely not Santa doll people, and certainly not the kind of folks who can appreciate a Santa carrying animal pelts (hence the moniker Animal Cruelty Santa).

But we bring AC Santa out to remind the cats they’d better be good, for goodness sake, or they’re going to end up in Santa’s collection of animal skins. Here, Jolene checks to see if there are any birds in the birdhouse.

Our newest addition to the family is Moses, who finds the premiere spot under the tree. Since he’s an indoor kitty he’s mighty grateful that we brought the outdoors to him. He promises to be good and not try to slip outside any longer.

And with that I wish everyone a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, from our home to yours.