Monday, June 25, 2007

Lorrie, Honey, Watch Your Back

A lot has been made of Lorrie Morgan’s statement that former beau Fred Thompson is “soft and safe,” as in:
"He’s a soft, safe place to be and that could be Fred’s ticket. Women love a soft place to lay and a strong pair of hands to hold us.”

Egads. “Soft and safe”? Sounds like toilet paper. Or maybe a feminine hygiene product. Definitely not a president. Definitely not your go-to guy on the “warren terra.”

Thompson advisor Mary Matalin must be ready to wring Lorrie Morgan’s throat (and if you’ve ever seen Mary Matalin, VP Dick Cheney’s advisor, you know she’s just scary enough to do it, too.) Liz Cheney, also on Thompson’s team, might be planning a hunting trip with dad Dick and Lorrie Morgan as we speak. Tim Griffin, Karl Rove’s former aide and another Thompson advisor, might be bugging Morgan’s phone. Or maybe he’s taking a page from his own 2004 election playbook and figuring out how to revoke her voting rights, you know, the way he disenfranchised 70,000 African American veterans and low-income folks in Arkansas.

Lorrie, honey, watch your back. Thompson advisor and presidential nephew George P. Bush might break into your bedroom in the middle of the night, as he did to his ex-girlfriend in 1994, and tear up your front lawn with his car.

Wait a minute. I just noticed something. There’s a lot of Bush-Cheney-Rove folks on the Thompson team. Wow. Imagine that. I thought Mr. Soft & Safe was supposed to be some kind of outsider?

Huh. Whaddya know?