News I’d Like To See

I saw this posted over at Search for Integrity and thought: what a great idea! Hours of amusement shall ensue!

It’s a newspaper generator. Generate your own headline and body copy of a newspaper, real or fictitious, of your choice.

You can generate your own newspaper here.

I had some fun with mine. Here’s one:
Okay, I admit that one was a little silly. Maybe I've been watching too many summer blockbusters.

I'm also a little brain-dead today and my creative mojo seems to be taking a holiday. I'm sure you savvy bloggers will come up with some much better ideas.

I did have one other idea, though. This is a headline I'd really like to see:

Permission Not Granted

Should be the new slogan of the McCain-Palin ticket. The funniest is this statement from the principal of Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California:

"It has been brought to the school's attention that a picture of the front of our school, Walter Reed Middle School, was used as a backdrop at the Republican National Convention. Permission to use the front of our school for the Republican National Convention was not given by our school nor is the use of our school's picture an endorsement of any political party or view."

Don’t worry, we’re quite sure the RNC screwed up and meant to use a picture of Walter Reed Army hospital.

And then there’s the whole music thing. Nashville songwriters take note: John McCain does not respect your copyrights. Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart, one of my all time favorite rock bands, sent the McCain camp a cease and desist order when their song “Barracuda” was used after Sarah Palin’s speech this week. And yet, the campaign ignored it:

But after McCain finished his speech accepting the GOP's presidential nomination tonight, Palin joined him on stage, and the song was used again: Heart's "Barracuda" played as balloons fell. With that elephant in the room, Heart's Nancy Wilson felt compelled to personally respond. "I think it's completely unfair to be so misrepresented," she said in a phone call to EW.com after the speech. "I feel completely f---ed over." She and sister Ann Wilson then e-mailed the following exclusive statement:

"Sarah Palin's views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song 'Barracuda' no longer be used to promote her image. The song 'Barracuda' was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women. (The 'barracuda' represented the business.) While Heart did not and would not authorize the use of their song at the RNC, there's irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there."

Sad thing is, this wasn’t even the first time McCain’s campaign had ignored an artist’s copyright. Or even the second. Or even, the third:

For The Fifth Time, McCain Campaign Illegally Uses Artists’ Copyrighted Music

Last month, McCain released his technology policy, in which he promised to “protect the creative industries from piracy.” Yet as ThinkProgress has reported previously, McCain has infringed on artists’ copyrights on at least four other occasions:

- In August, singer Jackson Browne sued the McCain campaign and the Ohio Republican Party for copyright infringement because his song “Running on Empty” was used in an ad by the state party. Browne’s lawyers said that “McCain and his campaign were well aware of” this fact.

– In August, the McCain campaign re-cut a web ad after comedian Mike Myers’s publicist complained about the use of footage of Myers and fellow Saturday Night Live alum Dana Carvey’s “Wayne’s World” characters.

– In July, the McCain campaign had to pull and re-cut a web ad after Frankie Valli’s record label, the Warner Music Group, asserted its copyright claims over the use of the song “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You.”

– Earlier this year, the copyright owners for the “Rocky” theme song “telephoned the McCain campaign to politely complain it was being used without permission.”

I know, I know. We creative types are merely disposable tools whose work should be pressed into the service of the establishment. Because nothing is more important than supporting our fascist overlords.

Just kidding.

The Green Screen Explained

Hilarious. Mr. Beale and I were wondering what the hell that lawn was. Turns out it was the lawn of Walter Reed -- Middle School in North Hollywood, CA, that is:

Last night's creepy Edward Scissorhands backdrop for McCain's speech confused more than a few people last night. It seems like Josh Marshall and co. may be onto a HUGE p.r. disaster for the G.O.P...

The picture behind McCain was Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, CA. Yes, that's right. Hollywood.


And yes, that would be "Walter Reed."

The "noun, verb, P.O.W., sleeping pill" speech of McCain was given with the ironic backdrop of clueless G.O.P operatives screwing up an attempt to show the REAL WALTER REED HOSPITAL.

As is so often the case during the Bush reign, the symbolism exceeds the conceits of the most fantastic fiction.

They don't know about computers, or Google, or the internets, but they're telling us to "catch up to history." They preach about P.O.W.'s, but they don't know, or don't bother too long to find out, what Walter Reed looks like.

And now they play the blame game.

Cripes. They can’t handle the most basic thing: putting up a backdrop for the candidate's speech. And we’re supposed to trust you with running the entire country? No. Fucking. Way.

Return Of The Wedge Issue

[UPDATE]: Heh. The New York Times agrees with me. Imagine that.

Okay, folks. If you liked the culture wars, you're gonna love seeing them drag on for another four years. War on Christmas, beeyatches!!!!!
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Last night’s speech by John McCain was so lackluster, it took real effort to keep from switching to, oh, I dunno, a World Series of Poker rerun. As one commenter at Eschaton posted, “the crowd went mild.”

And what was up with the green screen? Have they learned nothing?

John McCain has already been overshadowed by Sarah Palin. I’ve had fun taking potshots at Palin this week: the puppy killer, the slutty daughter, the podunk town she ran that is supposedly the perfect proving ground for the White House. But she’s a far more effective speaker than McCain, prompting more than one person to wonder: At what point will Palin drop McCain?

Ouch.

But really what Sarah Palin has done is bring the evangelical base back into the voting booth. And along with them come those rancorous, divisive social issues. Karl Rove is ecstatic. 

I really didn’t think this election would be about gays and abortion; I mean, after eight years of this crap who isn’t sick of being hammered over the head by an issue that has absolutely no bearing on jobs, gas prices, healthcare, the mortgage crisis, or any of the other real issues affecting people’s daily lives?

Aren’t we sick of being manipulated by divisive social issues? Haven’t we had enough of that crap?

Apparently not. At least, the Republican Party doesn’t seem to think so.

And here’s where I see an opportunity for Barack Obama. The whole point of the “Yes We Can” message was to say, let’s move past the politics of divisive wedge issues and work together to solve the real problems challenging American families.

Here’s an excerpt from Obama’s January 27 speech after he won the South Carolina primary:

It's the politics that uses religion as a wedge and patriotism as a bludgeon, a politics that tells us that we have to think, act and even vote within the confines of the categories that supposedly define us, the assumption that young people are apathetic, the assumption that Republicans won't cross over, the assumption that the wealthy care nothing for the poor and that the poor don't vote, the assumption that African-Americans can't support the white candidate, whites can't support the African-American candidate, blacks and Latinos cannot come together. We are here tonight to say that that is not the America we believe in.

Yes, my friends, that is change we can believe in. And that is not what I’m hearing from the Republican Party these days.

Adding Sarah Palin to the ticket did not offer any change from the past four years. To the contrary, it showed us that if elected, the debate of the next four years will look exactly like that of the past eight: more wrangling over “activist judges” and Roe v. Wade, more rancor over funding for abstinence-only education and who’s wearing a flag pin (and by the way, last night John McCain was not).

We can expect more Dr. David Hager-type appointments to key posts affecting women’s health, and more Monica Goodlings in the Justice Department. Sarah Palin is George W. Bush in a dress, so if you’ve liked debating gay marriage while American jobs are shipped to China and India, then by all means go right ahead and support the GOP ticket.

As for me: I’m sick of these stupid distractions. I’m sick of Rove-style wedge issues that allow the corporatists in Washington to raid our treasury and undermine our economy.

So, my advice to Barack Obama is: get back on message. I’m sick of politics as usual, wedge issues, gays-guns-and-God. Surely I’m not the only one.

Palin Shoots Puppies

For real:

Under Palin, the state Board of Game authorized for the first time in 20 years the shooting of wolves by state wildlife officials from helicopters. The order resulted in the controversial shooting this summer of 14 one-month-old wolf pups taken from dens on a remote peninsula 800 miles southwest of Anchorage — an act that environmentalists claim was illegal.

It’s true:

Biologists found the 4- to 5-week-old pups when they landed to collect carcasses of adult wolves shot from a helicopter two months ago near Cold Bay, about 600 miles southwest of Anchorage.
Biologists had killed 14 adult wolves, including mothers of the pups.

"As we got on the calving grounds, we took adults, and in the course of taking adults we found there were pups," said Doug Larsen, director of the state Division of Wildlife Conservation, from Juneau.

"The issue then was do we leave the pups to fend for themselves and starve or do we dispatch them," Larsen said. "Our feeling was that it was most humane to dispatch them."

Shameful. Gov. Sarah Palin killed puppies.

Zombie Lies

As Atrios likes to say, zombie lies never die. Well, someone better kill this zombie lie before it takes root.

Conservative blogs like Redstate are all over the myth that Sarah Palin winged her speech last night because the teleprompter malfunctioned.

Do a Google search. I dare you. It’s becoming part of the national mythology, like how hippies spit on Vietnam veterans and Al Gore said he invented the internet.

Well, guess what folks. This zombie lie ain’t true, either:

Because of the positioning of the PJTV booth, I had a clear view of the teleprompter as well, and it never conked out. On the other hand, I also noticed that Palin's hilarious "What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom" line--and she may have been the only person on the planet to successfully sell such a joke--was an improv; it wasn't on the teleprompter.

Driscoll isn’t the only one who saw a perfectly-operating teleprompter, either.

U.S. News & World Report also debunks the myth.

Ditto Politico.

Just sayin’ ....

IOKIYAR, RNC Edition

Jim Voorhies was right. Last night's Daily Show segment pointing out the right-wing's hypocrisy as liberals react with horror to Sarah Palin was just too perfect. Thank you, Jon Stewart, for saying what my brain is to slow and my Google-fu too lame to articulate.

If you missed it:

IOKIYAR, Celebrity Edition

Remember when being a celebrity was a bad thing for a politician? You had to know that rule was just for Democrats, right?

Because now that Sarah Palin is on the cover of all the gossip rags, she’s looking a lot like a celebrity these days.

And with glowing headlines like these, I'm wondering if we're looking at a politician or Mariah Carey.

It’s funny that no one ever calls the Republicans on this stuff.

Shameful

The Palins’ Dirty Car Wash Business

Oh, my. The Washington Post has discovered some big problems with the Palins car wash business:

State records show the business ran into trouble with Alaska's division of corporations business and professional licensing after Palin became governor of the state in 2006.



A Feb. 11, 2007 letter to the governor's business partner advises that the car wash had "not filed its biennial report and/or paid its biennial fees," which were more than a year overdue.

The warning letter was written on state letterhead, which carried Palin's name at the top, next to the state seal.

On April 3, 2007, the state went further and issued a "certificate of involuntary dissolution" because of the car wash's failure to file its report and pay state licensing fees.

That’s some executive experience for you!