Time For Us Women To Cut You Boys Off

I am so ready to nip shit like this in the bud:

Dr. Hal C. Lawrence III, vice president of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, said contraceptives fit any reasonable definition of preventive health care because they averted unintended pregnancies and allowed women to control the timing, number and spacing of births. This, in turn, improves maternal and child health by reducing infant mortality, complications of pregnancy and even birth defects, said Dr. Lawrence, who is in charge of the group’s practice guidelines.

But the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops and some conservative groups, including the Family Research Council, say birth control is not a preventive service in the usual sense of the term.

“Pregnancy is not a disease to be prevented, nor is fertility a pathological condition,” said Deirdre A. McQuade, a spokeswoman for the bishops’ Pro-Life Secretariat. “So birth control is not preventive care, and it should not be mandated.”

About one-half of pregnancies in the United States are unintended.

Wow, and right on the heels of the whole “forcible rape” outrage, too. Assholes.

I will never understand why the people screaming the loudest about how awful abortion is are the same people putting up roadblocks to women trying to access birth control. What the hell is wrong with you people?

And don’t even get me started on the whole tortured “pregnancy is not a disease to be prevented” bullshit. Who says “preventive care” applies only to disease?

Last week I got into an argument with someone over abortion coverage in insurance policies. He said he didn’t understand why he should pay more because women are “irresponsible.” Because an unwanted pregnancy is always the woman’s fault! Isn’t that neat how that works? Heads you win, tails we lose.

Look fellas, I’m sorry you lack the plumbing that would enable you to get pregnant, gestate and give birth and all that. I’ve long suspected your inability to create life in the same way we ladies do has been a source of equal amounts fascination and disgust on your parts for thousands of years. Grow the fuck up already.

You know, I can’t imagine what it’s like to have my reproductive organs flying around loose in the breeze where any predator, fungus or hunting accident could come along and snip it all off, making me evolutionarily irrelevant. That’s a hard burden to bear, a not-so-subtle reminder of how biologically dispensable you guys really are. There are always more males out there willing to spread their seed; it’s the female of the species who carries the burden of the species’ survival. We’re the ones who not only bear the young but care for them as well.

This isn’t me talking feminist claptrap, this is basic evolutionary biology: the bird that’s going to get snapped up at the feeder is the bright red highly visible male cardinal, not the drab brown female blessed with a natural protective camouflage. She’s more important in the grand scheme, which is why she’s been given this protection. God I know that chaps y’all’s ass big time.

It’s the battle of the sexes, played out over thousands of years. Men are bigger and stronger and take down a mammoth but for all your bravado it’s we women who keep the species going. And you’re just dying to control that, too.

Well guess what: you can’t. And you won’t. The earliest cave women knew which plants and herbs and tinctures and infusions prevented pregnancy and induced miscarriage. It’s in the archeological record. Women have been doing this for thousands of years. Do you seriously think you can stop what women have been doing forever? You won’t outlaw abortion, you’ll just drive women to desperate, unsafe, archaic means of doing what they’ve always done. And keeping women from accessing birth control is only making more unwanted pregnancies, not fewer of them.

I repeat: We’re the ones who not only bear the young but care for them as well. We know what’s best for us. And we will act accordingly.

I’m thinking this battle needs another ancient solution. A little nationwide Lysistrata action, perhaps. I’m tired of being dicked around by you assholes. Really, I am. And while plenty of men out there are believers in women’s reproductive choice and women’s access to birth control, I’m thinking maybe some of you guys just aren’t fighting hard enough on our behalf.

I think it’s time to cut you off until you guys recognize that we women will not be pushed around, that “small government” does not mean government small enough to fit inside my womb, that women can be trusted to make the right decisions for the human race because dammit that’s what we’ve been doing for thousands of years anyway.

[UPDATE]:

Oh for God's sake. This was totally the wrong day for me to learn we have a state breastfeeding law. Words fail me.

Jesus get over your squeamishness, people. What is the deal?

Concerned Women Concerned About Stupid Things

Today’s New York Times has a story about a new emergency contraceptive called ella, which has the morality scolds at the Concerned Women of America very, well, concerned.

Why? Since doctors are still debating exactly how the pill works (it appears to prevent ovulation by blocking progesterone, thus preventing conception. And there goes the pro-lifers’ “this pill is exactly the same as murdering babies!” argument), they’ve come up with a unique new reason to be concerned:

Ms. Wright warned that men might slip ella to unsuspecting women, and she said testing so far was not adequate to establish whether it was safe.

Hmm. Thinking back to when I was single and looking for love in all the wrong places, I have to say the fear that men might slip an emergency contraceptive into my cocktail was the least of my worries. As for the safety issue, that is not an issue on which the Concerned Women have any credibility, seeing as how they have a history of touting phony studies falsely linking abortion to breast cancer, teen sex to depression, gays to all manner of social ills, etc. etc. Not to mention the whole "evolution is a liberal plot to kill Jesus" thing.

Thanks for your Concern. Duly noted.

Swampland: Late To The Party

Over at Time’s Swampland blog, Amy Sullivan finally gets around to telling people to “chill out” over the family planning provisions of the stimulus bill.

She writes:

Republicans: The provision would have allowed states to cover family planning services--but not abortion--that they already cover for low-income women who don't otherwise qualify for Medicaid, just without first requiring states to obtain a waiver from the federal government. That's it. It wouldn't have permitted new services to be included under "family planning." It wouldn't have required states to cover anything or anyone that they didn't want to. It just would have allowed them to do what they're already doing without first going through the red tape of obtaining a waiver.

Gee, thanks Amy. Glad to finally see that posted somewhere other than a lefty blog. Even if you only got around to doing it at 4 pm Thursday.

When the vote was yesterday.

Seems to me this would have been good information to have on the Time blog a few days ago. Like, maybe, Monday? You know, when the Republicans were getting the vapors and the Democrats were afraid that the Republicans wouldn’t support the bill with that icky female plumbing stuff in it. So they caved, like always, and took it out.

And then the House voted on the bill and no Republicans supported it anyway. Yesterday.

What took you so long?

Sullivan writes:

In the end, this week's fight came down to symbolism. Republicans thought they could paint the stimulus bill as a gift to "the abortion industry" when in fact the provision changes virtually nothing about current law.

Yeah, some of us were talking about that on Monday.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me nuts when Old Media tries to do New Media. They still don’t get it. The damage has been done, the discussion has been closed. Pointing out Republican hypocrisy and Democratic ineptitude now comes a little too late to be useful.

Culture Wars & Birth Control

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. All I can think is that the entire Republican Party has gone insane because once again we’re seeing the same failed “culture war” argument of the past election repeated, as Republicans flail around trying to attack a popular Democratic president.

Yesterday on MSNBC Pat Buchanan said that in church on Sunday morning, his pastor spoke about the “new culture war.”

“Democrats want to use taxpayer money to fund overseas abortions,” he said.

Well, that’s a grossly inaccurate way of describing what’s really happening, which is lifting the global gag rule, a policy loved by Republicans and reviled by women’s rights groups.

Now Republicans are spreading the lie that the stimulus will spend hundreds of millions on contraceptives. I wrote about this yesterday, noting that the program Pelosi wants to expand was created by a Republican president and supported by Republican governors. But when you don’t have any policy ideas of your own, flogging the culture wars are a sure-fire way to fool the media.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with the government spending millions on contraceptives for low income women. If you don’t like abortion, then the best way to stop that is to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

But what this proposal really does is simply expand the number of states eligible to use Medicaid funds for birth control services for low income women.

And for some reason conservatives still think women’s access to birth control is controversial or unpopular.

Folks, 62,000 jobs were lost yesterday. You really want to argue over women’s access to birth control? I’d say working women feel like they need birth control now more than ever.

Of course, the AP is reporting that Obama is considering dumping the proposal.

Big mistake. HUGE mistake. Women should not be thrown under the bus. I’ve already written the White House (and you can do so here, or call (202) 456-1111).

Birth control is not controversial. It’s needed, especially in times of economic distress. Bowing to the idiot conservatives who think they have pushed the right culture war button is the wrong thing to do. And I think it's wholly unnecessary.

They Were For It Before They Were Against It

[UPDATE]:

Heh. Turns out one of the "reporters" peddling this phony outrage has already been forced to issue a correction. I think Media Matters is correct: the GOP is just hoping that contraception will be as much of a political hot potato for Obama as gays in the military was for Clinton.

Kinda shows how out of touch they are, but then these days, what doesn't?
----------------------------------------------

Josh Marshall blows the lid off of the phony outrage peddled by some on the right over Nancy Pelosi’s family planning program:

First of all, the family-planning program that Pelosi supports expanding in the stimulus bill was created in 1972 under the leadership of Republican president Richard Nixon.

What's being proposed is an expansion in the number of states that can use Medicaid money, with a federal match, to help low-income women prevent unwanted pregnancies. Of the 26 states that already have Medicaid waivers for family planning, eight are led by Republican governors (AL, FL, MS, SC, CA, LA, MN and RI -- a ninth, MO, had a GOP governor until this past November). If this policy is truly a taxpayer gift to "the abortion industry," as John Boehner and House Republicans claim, where are the GOP governors promising to end the program in their states?

Additionally, the process of obtaining a waiver for Medicaid family-planning coverage is extremely cumbersome. A letter written by Wisconsin health regulators in 2007 noted that some states have had to wait for as long as two years before their request was approved. The Congressional Budget Office has estimated that eliminating the waiver requirement would save states $400 million over 10 years.

The “liberal” media repeating Republican talking points .... no one could have anticipated that.

I Have A Question

Excuse me but can someone please tell me what "a stable relationship" has to do with the safety and efficacy of birth control?

Candidates for Mirena have had a child, are in a stable relationship, and have no risk or history of ectopic pregnancy or pelvic inflammatory disease.

I honestly can’t think how that’s relevant, but then, I’m not a doctor so what do I know.

Maybe they’re subtly telling tramps and trollops to use condoms?

Just wondering.