Thursday, January 17, 2008

Draft Lou Dobbs!

Well, this was inevitable. Following the collapse tremendous success that made the very existence of Unity 08 no longer necessary, the 2008 election needed fresh comedy gold. And where better to look than the immigrant-hating populist with the polo ponies, CNN’s own Lou Dobbs.

Yes, the Draft Lou Dobbs campaign is off and running, brought to you by ALIPAC (Americans for Legal Immigration PAC):
Lou Dobbs is right about the issues concerning illegal immigration, no AMNESTY, and secure borders! Lou Dobbs is right about our deplorable trade agreements and the war on middle class America. Lou Dobbs is right about the rising military threat from communist China!

Lou Dobbs does not want to run for President and does not consider himself a politician. Sometimes, history demands that good people do what someone must do!

Okie dokie.

If you’re interested, check out their platform. Oh wait, don’t bother, since they say, “Only Lou Dobbs could tell us what his campaign platform would be, but those of us that are fans can tell what many of Lou's top issues are on the show. ”

You people realize that Lou Dobbs is a television personality, right? Kinda how Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly and Stephen Colbert are personalities?

Sigh. Never mind.

Draft Lou Dobbs really does read more like a fan site than a serious political effort. CNN claims ALIPAC president William Gheen said the group has “over 25,000 active supporters” for Dobbs but the Draft Lou Dobbs site shows they’re still a little short of that: they’ve registered 1,239 supporters who have pledged $171,603 as of this writing.

One of them is me. Because, you know, the kabuki theater that is the 2008 election just isn’t bizarre enough. I think we need the rantings of a phony populist like Lou Dobbs, who makes up statistics about leprosy just for the entertainment value.

Go, Lou Dobbs, go!