Stuff I Hate

I hate these college kids who come to the door and tell you they’re raising money for a (fill in the sport) team trip to (fill in the foreign country). They want you to buy magazines or books, or there’s this new thing where they just want you to write a check and claim they’ll donate the books to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital for you.

My bullshit meter goes into overdrive when I hear these stories, and yet, I am the sucker who ends up writing a check, nine times out of 10. I strongly suspect they take down your name and address so they can send other teams of enterprising youth to your door in future months.

A young kid named “Lee” just came to my door, saying he’s a student at Vanderbilt and his soccer team is going to France. Now I’m out $40; I’m supposed to get a tax write-off receipt in the mail for my trouble.

Again, Bullshit.

He told me to write a check to “Tuscan Reader Services.” When I checked the internet for that name, I got a big nothing. The company is supposed to be in Georgia.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

For all I know I just gave $40 to the International Society of Gay-Hating Republican Youth, or, ISGHRY.

I have no problems telling the Mormons, Jehova’s Witnesses, or Seventh Day Adventists to hit the road. The Scientologists just throw stuff in my driveway, which can I throw away (that’s the nicest thing you will ever hear me say about Scientology). It’s these young college kids that get me every time.

I’m such a sucker.